Posts in Essay
BIG QUEER WAR MACHINE

Mechs are not practical tools of war. It seems silly to point that out but there is a reason they look so much like people. They are extensions of our humanity. A humanity that longs to sing, dance, explore, know, love, and break beyond its own limits. The tragedy of mechs is that these colossal people are made to live as a site of conflict; that they are born to die rather than experience every glorious moment in-between.

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The world you wished for

Umurangi Generation is the shitty future we occupy, the compromises and pain and small moments of joy all combusting at once. There are no good choices left, they’ve all been stolen from us. What do you do when the world’s on fire but you’re hungry and the landlord’s demanding rent? At what point does the dark comedy of capitalism finally break? Umurangi knows we’ve passed the point of no return but have to keep living like we still have time. It acknowledges our anger but refuses to give up on the people left behind.

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Silent Hill 2: Deconstructing Daddy

The point of this exhibition is pain. The pain of shifting focus as an observer. The pain of how, after so many decades of feminist analysis, I can read fifty articles about how modern art and film are just like Silent Hill 2 - full of conjecture about art that looks similar by important cisgender men - and not see any of the works by artists I know are direct aesthetic parallels. Here are a few of them.

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Serve me through the wall

What's so powerful about Lofi Ping Pong is how it understands its subject. It is a sad and challenging game wrapped in soft textures; less ping pong sim than twitchy rhythm game. Unlike its inspiration, here we can’t be wholly insulated. Our ironic detachment breaks every time we miss a beat, thrust back into consciousness and the glow of our monitor.

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Photos of future ruins

Dear Future is an asynchronous massively-multiplayer photography game about exploring an abandoned city. I have been trying to write about it for several weeks and have found myself incapable of doing with any organization or distance. What follow, instead, are orchestrated recollections and half-formed conclusions of my time with the game. A half-step towards the understanding I'm searching for.

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Even the Ocean's Sophomore Woes and Shadow Drafts

Even the Ocean sits unfortunately between an early indie hit and a decade defining classic. It is the studio’s most technically accomplished game to date but lacks the emotional heft of its siblings; a delight in itself that falls shy of the incredibly high bar Analgesic have set for themselves. But as a transitional piece it is one of the best modern examples we have of thematic development across games, made more interesting through Anodyne 2's parallels.

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The cross you gave to me

Video games are built on violence. Violence towards their creators at the hands of industry overlords. Violence towards their fans through the cultivation of toxic communities. Violence to the planet by the manufacturing of useless hardware and the ballooning footprint of server farms. Violence as the primary verb through which we understand our interactions in these digital worlds. The argument of whether games should be violent is over, violence has won.

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10 Dizain Poems for the 10mg Collection

The 10mg Collection (2020) is a series of 10 micro-games by as many teams, collected together as a showcase of smaller experiments within the medium. A Dizain poem is a form comprising 10 lines of 10 syllables each, with an ababbccdcd rhyme scheme. This collection of poems is an attempt to bring these two things together.

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EssayNathaliePoetry, 10mg
Ghost Running on a cyberpunk treadmill

Ghostrunner may as well have fallen backwards into cyberpunk for want of a theme. It can wrench nothing from this stone that has not already been alienated by other derivative works, and squanders its movement on inconsistent combat and weightless platforming. It is perhaps the perfect game to prelude Cyberpunk 2077, both clinging to imagery they don’t understand, hoping for depth by association.

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Queering the art gallery

Queerheart (Afterglow Games, 2019) is an attempt at a digital gallery. It compiles vintage adverts, poems, clips of silent films, alongside original works taking a variety of forms. Click around the halls and you’re taken to different non-spaces: a vaporwave poetry corner, some hotel rooms hiding text-to-speech memoirs, a tv playing clips of early queer cinema. It is the inversion of the white cube – vibrant, messy, enveloping.

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Thoughts on Indiepocalypse 8

Indiepocalypse is a monthly zine and collection of indie games featuring weird, quirky, and creative explorations of the medium. Here are some thoughts on issue 8, featuring: 1980s interfaces, angels, and a computer making friends with bumblebees.

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The 50 Games of the Decade

Welcome. We made it. 2020. Wow, what a year. A lot has happened as I’ve been trying to write this list, but what’s important is that video games are good and here and should definitely be allowed to exist.

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